An nyathi ma Kenya…

Paula Rogo 

FUCK IT! Is it called fear? I guess it’s just called FEAR. Pure, unaltered, penetrating almost raping me dry fear. J’ai peur que….!! I am Kenyan and in a few days (3 to be exact), my country will be going through presidential elections. For those of you Americans, who can feel comfortable that your voting system in dependable (though 2000 ELECTIONS speaks otherwise??), this feeling of hope- hope that change can actually be achieved- is always mixed with a feeling of dread for even believing in that hope. J’espere… Will there be an election where the polls aren’t rigged? will tribal issues continue to stand as a problem? will my vote mean anything? This is the first time that my country can have a peaceful changeover of power. A peaceful changeover of power that includes the change of tribes… ingeo? Anyisi gikmoko okanyal…Therefore when I say I am scared understand that I am shitting bullets. My place has never been to stay here in America. My future stands at home. I am safe here in my suburban home in the US this Christmas but my heart has always and will always belong somewhere else. I am Kenyan. Je suis de Kenya. An nyathi ma Kenya. Mi natoka Kenya. Soy de KenyaI dont even know if I am making any fucking sense…I just know what I am feeling.

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